Beyond This Illusion
by LoversKagXInu
Summary: She never thought that the one thing that kept her alive, the thing that lingered in her veins as if it was part of her would be so easily gone. She thought she wouldn't lose him. Written in first person; one-shot. :
1. Chapter 1

**Beyond This Illusion**

_Never had I thought I could lose something so precious to me,_

_Nor did I ever imagine it would be him, of all people._

_Can I live in a world without him there,_

_Well, I don't have a choice._

_He's gone now,_

_Forever._

_-Kagome_

There was nothing to describe the ill feeling I had that day, nor could I accept that fact that I simply let it happen.

Which was odd for me, usually I would rebel and go against almost anything; make an excuse, simply run away. But he was different, he wasn't;t the type of man to flee in the face of danger, to run away from his mistakes, or to coward down to something more greater than him alone.

No, he had the heart of a lion and the strength of a thousand men in battle. With a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts, and eyes to tease the very souls of the Gods; he was simply perfection.

But not even perfection can last forever.

Nothing in this world, and the next, could make me think otherwise about him. The way he walked with such great finesse, the way he spoke as if his voice were the angels singing, and the way his body was shaped, that lines seemed to go on forever, and hide in every curve of him. He was someone who would never be able to replace, nor ever be forgotten.

He was the most brave and devoted man that I had ever seen in only my few short years of my life, and it is to this day that I, forever will, am proud of him. For his loses and his gains, through good or bad, and have healed his heart and soul when it seemed brittle and sore to the touch.

But without any effort, he was the same as anyone else.

Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subjected to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer; if you tickle him, he would laugh. If you prick him, he will bleed. If you poison him, he will die. And if you wrong him, he shall look for revenge.

But he too must pay the same consequences of his actions.

And when his heart does take its last beat, his lungs take thy last fearing breath, those eyes took one last look into mine, and slowly close over to seek for his final resting, I will let him go. I would let him go, but only if he had died in that way; only if he had to die.

Sent on an impossible mission, past the boundaries of his own knowings, and far beyond the world he knew, is where he had been found. There, in a bitter cold ground, with no one who loved him to say goodbye, no one to see his eyes slowly close for the last time, and no one to say they loved him. He died alone, but with a reason.

* * *

I didn't give much thought in to it that day, nor did I press the thought from my mind. It lingered with me and gave off a wary presence that would haunt me for eternity, and if I so much as spoke it out loud, I would have chosen the same fate as others before had.

Slipping away in to the unknown of my thoughts, I vaguely remembered my purpose for why I was outside in that bitterly cold winter day.

Ice hung from the ends of every tree's branches that were weighted down from the frozen snow. Snow flew around the sky like lightening, cracking and sparkling as it went through the breeze, talking my warmth away from me. And as I stood there, mesmerized by the now chiming icicles as they clinked together in the wind, my body began to sway back and forth in motion.

There was a stillness in the entire world, and for a few moments in time it seemed as if everything stopped, that nothing else moved, nor did it carry on. I help like I was trapped in a world I never wanted to be in, or knew of.

And at that last thought, a pair of big warm arms pulled over me, surrounding me with warmth and shelter from the cold. They turned me around to face him, smiling and looking at me through narrowed eyes from the blistering wind.

He raised a pointy eyebrow at me, "May I ask why you are standing out in the cold?" he calmly asked, rubbing my arms to get me warm. I could feel the my skin slowly turning a bright red at this point.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes nonchalantly, "I don't know," I paused, burying my face in his clothes. "I just needed to get out for a little while, that's all." I let him cover me over with his arm and navigate me back inside where it was much warmer.

Once inside, I pulled off the cold clothes I previously had on and slipping in to a thick kimono that was folded by the fire, waiting for me. I sat cozy by the fire, and stretched my hands out almost willing to touch the flames as they sparked and flew in different directions throughout the room. I noticed he was standing in the corner, almost trying to think or diminish a thought.

I cleared my throat, afraid it was almost ready to close over, "Won't you sit down?" I questioned, afraid for his own well-being. He had gone through so much in only the last few days, I didn't want anything else causing him pain.

He gave me a quick nod once and traced his footsteps back to the fire.

It was grower higher and was burning brighter when he finally sat down. The fire shined against his face, and the shadows hide his thoughts and concerns, but I knew all too well that he was thinking about everything besides the fact of me. And I understood that.

My arm slowly moved forward to be placed on his shoulder, the moment my skin interacted with his clothing he flinched, but shortly after he became more easy; almost as it my touch had melted away all of his worries.

"So," I proceeded on to my previous conversation with him this morning. I knew he did not want to deal with this, but he would have to sooner or later. "This war, how many humans have died so far?"

"Humans?" he murmured, almost barely making a sound.

If the wind had been any stronger I would have not heard him. I nodded quickly, afraid he would not respond anymore to another question. And I realized the error I had made, I coughed and then it all went silent. "How many _demons_?"

His eyes slowly closed over, and for a split second I thought he would fall asleep. And just before I was about to shake him awake, his eyes fluttered opened again as if the answer came from within him, "Twenty-six thousand. And more to come."

I sighed, pressing my lips against the side of my kimono. My breath became uneasy. Imagining the massacre that was taking place, and we didn't even know where it was, nor did we know what the out come of this battle would bring. But for whatever reason is would end, I was only afraid of his safety. "You don't have to go."

He glanced up at me, and for the first time I saw hurt in his eyes. An unimaginable blend of pain and suffering and I wished I could take all of it away from him, for him to be at peace. He breathed in deeply and slowly let it back out, trying to collect himself. "If I don't, I will look like a coward."

I bit my lip, almost pressing through my skin with my teeth. My blood felt like it was boiling, but my heart went cold. My grip on his shoulder tightened as I tried not to look in to his eyes, or I would give in to him and his decision. "You don't have to. You going off to fight in a reasonless war is being a coward; running off on an impossible mission is being a coward. But staying and fighting when necessary is being a hero, being alive because you made the right choice, and not a reckless one is being a hero. Not a coward."

And for a moment, he simply could not come up with a comment for my plea, but he soon after pulled his eyes off the fire to stare in to my own. I could not bare the hunger in his eyes, as he looked at me. "Your barely alive because of me." he whispered, slowly beating himself up. "So, if me leaving means me letting you go and having a better life," he paused, as a single tear started to blur his vision. "Then yes, I am a coward."

I fought back tears as my thought felt like it would close over, my heart was in my throat pounding away, and my eyes were readily flowing over with salt water. I could not bare the thought of losing him, not now.

There was an awkward silence between us, and as I whipped the last of my tears that had fallen, I sniffed and then bit my lip again, trying to fight the urge to cry again. "What if-," I almost couldn't say it, afraid of the answer. "What if you shall die?"

He slowly turned his head towards me, looking up at me for a split second before smiling, "Well, than that would be a great adventure."

I gasped, but I fought back tears.

An image of him popped in my head and would not leave. Sprawled out on the cold winter ground, left to die, without anyone beside him. Without me to love him. That was the worst of my fears, and I wouldn't let it come true. I shook my head to make the thought go away, but it stayed there.

"Don't do this," I pleaded. "You have too much to live for." I whispered, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. Nothing seemed anymore important than what I had already said, and he just wouldn't listen.

He sighed as he brushed my hand off of his shoulder, and I whimpered from the sudden gape in distance. "I haven't even lived yet." He shook his head, and then glanced once more at me. "When they call for me, I too, go with them."

And with that last promise, he quickly stood up, blew me a fair kiss and left, leaving me both his and my suffering behind.

**x.X.x**

There was a guilty feeling I had when I let him go.

I felt as if I could cure his pain, but at the same time I figured all he needed was to be alone with his thoughts. Which was a bad decision on my part.

Within the few hours he was gone, time seemed to stand still. It was as if I was frozen in my own dimension of Hell, doomed to never be set free; it was as if the four walls that surrounded were slowly closing in on me, and I felt as if something was being pulled on strings, something tugged at my heat. Could something on earth be so full of pure disgust and filth?

The cabin door was pushed open, snow was forced to enter from the blistering trying to seek refuge inside the warmth of the blazing room. And then she came in, walking inside and slamming the door behind her as she walked to the wooden table in the middle of the small room.

Her long black hair was tied back into a tight pony tail that ran down to neck. She started to take off bits and pieces of her armor, unhooking it and placing it carefully down on to the wide rectangle. When she noticed that I was sitting alone in the room, she left her under armor down and walked over to me.

She stopped when she got to me, looking down at me as if I was cowering for her to not hurt me. She smiled and took a cushion from behind me, placing it underneath her and sitting on it. She smiled, "It's almost over," she paused, putting her hands out in front of the warm fire. "They nearly have him defeated, the leader, its only a matter of time now."

I through my head back in relief, but then a strange thought had popped in to my mind when I felt the sudden happiness, "What about the others to leave in the morning?"

She shook her head while she shrugged her shoulders, they went up and then circles around to sit back nicely on each side of her. "I really can't say, they might send them to make sure the job is successful, but they probably won't be gone longer than a day. Two at most."

I nodded, trying to believe that fate had answered all of my prays and solved every last problem. I took a deep sigh and smiled at her, "I can't believe this. Thank God." I paused, holding my head. "I really thought I would have lost him if he left, it seemed impossible."

She took one of her armor gloves off, and rubbed her wrist as if it was torn apart from the metal. She cracked her knuckles and then her neck before regaining in on our conversation. "How is he? When I left this morning, he seemed uneasy."

I rolled my eyes, and tried to searched for the answers as they rolled around in my head. I knew a few different answers but everyone of them gave me a dead end, no source of reference. I could not figure out why he was acting this day for the past few days, "I don't know, really. He seems good at times, and then he just switches." I paused, remembering of her day out in the woods. "How was your hunting?"

She sighed, leaning back on her arms and sitting her feet by the fire to heat. "We tracked two demons down to the falls, but lost their trail when they entered the stream and continued North, we think." she shook her head as if trying to figure out something. "They had an ominous look to them, also. As if they were the reflection of death and torture." she tingled as if something cold ran down her back.

"Do you think it could be a warning sign of some sort?" I questioned.

She shrugged her shoulders cautiously, and close her eyes while shaking her head. "I don't think so. My guess is that they were just two people lost or something. Nothing at all to worry about." she opened her eyes and saw as the fie slowly began to burn out.

I sighed at the thought of going out in to the blistering cold just only for firewood. "I'll get more, I need to think anyways." I grabbed a thick blanket from behind me and wrapped it around my shoulders, getting ready for the ultimately freezing weather I was about to step foot in to. I slowly got up from my comfortable position by the fire and stood on both legs, almost falling over.

I started to the door, feeling a certain flush of exhaustion and relief mixed together in a confusing emotion. And as I stood there I felt as if my world was being pressed down my shoulders, that nothing in the world could weigh as much as this problem did and I searched for the answer, tried to search through my mind to find it, I craved it. But I couldn't find it.

I quickly glared back at the slayer, she dark black bangs hung over her eyes as she stared in to the belly of the slowly fading fire, and as she sighed, I could not help feel responsible for her position. I felt guilty for everything.

And just as I saw her stare at the fie til it finally died out, her head snapped up to look at the front door.

I spun around cautiously to see what presence had made the door open, and standing in the door way was her fiance, standing with his golden staff at his side with the rings clinking at each other.

Her face brightened up when she saw that he had finally returned. He had left a few days before she had and after the last storm she had thought that he was gone forever. She waited for him to return the gesture but he didn't. Instead, he scanned the room; his eyes looking like a hunter watching carefully for his pray.

I stepped back for a moment, narrowing my eyes at him. "What are you doing here?" I leaned on to one leg, putting all of my weight on to it, taking a deep breath in since he didn't look happy.

He glared his eyes at me, as he began to take slow steps towards me. His arms hung by his side as if they were numb, and he stopped only a foot in front of me. "Where is he?" he whispered.

My hand slowly crept up to my mouth, covering it as I closed my eyes and sighed. "No, don't tell me he is leaving. Don't tell me he still has to go!"

I pried my eyes from behind my hands to see his face, to try and understand anything that would help. He nodded and took my shoulder, squeezing it tight. "I'm sorry, he has to. Others are coming by at dusk to gather me and him. We have no choice."

I sighed, leaning in to him, I bit my lip and tried to hold back tears. "Please watch over him, I know he can handle himself but please, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." I pulled my arms around him and tried to hold on what ever I could.

I needed to see him. I wouldn't let him risk his life to not see him once more.

And with that I pulled away from our embrace, looked him in his eyes and shook my head. He grabbed my arms and pulled my ear up to his mouth, "Go find him." He pulled back and smiled at me, and in that moment I darted to the cabin door, swung it open and entered the dangerously cold winter storm in search of him.

**X.x.X**

**A/N-** So, I finally finished this kinda one-shot. Its only going to be two chapters so. But I hope you all like it so far and please read&review and tell me what you think. Thanks, and I'll update soon !;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Beyond This Illusion**

Chapter 2

FB: _And with that I pulled away from our embrace, looked him in his eyes and shook my head. He grabbed my arms and pulled my ear up to his mouth, "Go find him." He pulled back and smiled at me, and in that moment I darted to the cabin door, swung it open and entered the dangerously cold winter storm in search of him._

The wind whipped through the air, it howled like an angry wolf in battle, with only a small kimono on and shoes, my bones almost froze immediately when I came outside, but I couldn't let that stop me, I had to find him. I knew he wouldn't be anywhere in the village after our talk. My whole vision was white, I could barely realize the difference between anything; everything was at peace when it was covered in white, so beautiful, so serene. Something pulled at me inside.

**Fear.**

For I knew the moment I found him, wherever he was, and told him that they were set to leave soon he wouldn't say another word to me and he would be gone, possibly forever. A small part of me didn't want to find him, so then he wouldn't have to go. Then it entered into my thoughts, why did I not want him to go? It wasn't like he was a bad fighter, or that he was not fit to go into battle. It was because I wouldn't be there by his side that if something happened to him, that if he got hurt, I wouldn't be there for him, to comfort him and care for him. No one would if I didn't.

I could feel the wind beginning to get higher and the snow fell to no end, it didn't stop. I pulled at the kimono around my neck and blew warm air into it to try to keep my body warm, my hair dancing all around in the wind as I got closer to the Sacred Tree. If he wasn't there then who know where he go to.

I pushed a branch out of my way and was staring at the grand tree, covered completely in snow. It looked so beautiful.

As soon as I seen the tree it was like my feet carried me the rest of the way until I was standing under it's great shadow. Icicles hung from every little branch, a few falling off the sides from the wind blistering. I looked around in search of red, but I couldn't find anything in sight, my mind suddenly was drawn to the tree and my first encounter with it.

_Inuyasha, this was where we met_, my heart began to beat faster. Every time I thought of that day, I got butterflies. It seemed so long ago. And then I thought, _is this where we will finally say goodbye,_ and stopped in the middle of my thoughts he jumped down from the tree to land right in front of me. His red robe almost covered in white, and his cheeks were as red as his kimono.

"You're leaving soon," there was nothing else to say. Those words tore through me like blades; it was so hard to not cry from them. There was nothing else I wanted to do but lie to him, somehow keep him from going, but he would be mad if I lied to him. "They wanted me to come and get you."

He looked at me for a second, and then looked away, "Alright than." And he walked past me and didn't look back. What was he doing? Was he not even going to say goodbye to me?

I spun around, my eyes were locked on him as he didn't stop walking away, didn't look back once to see me. Everything seemed to fade away; everything we talked about seemed to mean nothing at that moment. It seemed like I was about to lose everything if he got away, I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't.

By the time I noticed I was running to him, yelling out his name and almost in tears, but he didn't stop walking. It was as if I was yelling but nothing was coming out, I couldn't get a response out of him no matter how loud I screamed. I got to him and grabbed his shoulder, and he finally stopped for a moment, "Just let me go!" I could hear the anger in his voice, he seemed irritated. I stood in front of him, not letting him go any further.

He wouldn't look at me; his eyes were everywhere but on me. I knew if he looked into my eyes and seen how much this was killing me he wouldn't go, maybe that's why he walked off, but I didn't care, he had to know. "You can't leave, you don't know if you will even come back alive!"

I felt so many things at that moment, but all I could think of was him and what I would be like without him, what I would do if he didn't come back. He had to know before he left how he leaving made me feel, he had to know what was running through my mind since he said he was going. I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me, "Kagome," he whispered softly, "don't do this." He pleaded to me, it was almost enough to break my heart.

I fought the need to cry, as I bit my lip and swallowed back down my tears. "Inuyasha, I am completely in love with you," I finally bursted out and my eyes finally started to flood over; I thought they would turn into small icicles on my eyelashes. "You don't understand how much you mean to me, and if you're gone…" I couldn't even think about it, let alone say it.

But he seem to know what I meant and how I was feeling, because his strangely warm hands found their way to my freezing face and whipped away my tears softly, "You're so paranoid, nothing is going to happen to me, I promise." His smile almost made me believe him that everything was going to be fine. "Has anything happened to me before?"

My head landed on his chest with a silent thump, I almost felt like I was losing this war with him; the war to keep him from going. "No, but all of those times I was there with you, I was by your side and what if this time something happens to you and I'm not there?" My lips were going numb, and all I could see was white through my eyes, but I couldn't give up, he had to stay with me.

"Let's get back inside, you're probably freezing!" He grabbed my hand and tried to pull me back towards the hut, but I didn't move. He turned around to look at me puzzled at me, "Kagome?" he looked me up and down with concern and question written all over his face.

Tears were now readily flowing out of my eyes, as I gripped his hand as tight as I could, so he would never let go, "I'll wait out here in the freezing cold until you come back, until I see your pointy ears come over the hills and you're smile shines brighter than the sun when you see me." I dried off my tears, my voice felt so small but I know it touched him in the biggest way. "Don't you dare make me wait long."

He laughed under his breath, before pulling me to him and putting me under his arm, "Trust me, you won't have to wait that long." He rubbed my shoulder to try to warm me up, he almost flinched from my coldness when he brought me closer to him. I could see the village in the distance, and I knew every step we took brought us closer to him leaving. But I didn't fight it.

* * *

It passed by me in an uncontrollable blur.

Everything was packed for the battle, and all we had to do was wait for them to leave. It was almost too horrible to deal with. There wasn't a time that I could remember that we were away from each other for more than maybe a day, there wasn't one battle we fought alone without the other, and now he was leaving to go and fight with all of the others and I didn't know if he would survive; it was the worst feeling I had ever experienced.

Sango tried to make me eat, but I refused the food. Everything was so gross to me, the smell, the look, even the taste. I was not in the mood for anything, all I wanted was to be in his arms and never leave.

I could hear the sound of footsteps getting closer, and I heard a wolves howl ringing through the air. It was utter silence, until I heard a sharp voice from outside, "Where is she, where is Kagome?" it was a familiar voice, and I knew who it was before he came through the door to the hut covered in a full fur.

Kouga. Standing there in the doorway, he smiled down at me while I sat by the fire, the cold wind blew through the cracks in the door. He came in and shut the door behind him, at that moment I sneezed. Hoping he didn't notice I covered my face in to the blankets. I could hear him growl under his breathe, I glanced up and his hands were tighten in to fists and his eyes were forcibly shut closed. "Where is he?" he spoke through clenched teeth.

Before he even needed to speak a word I knew what he meant. Inuyasha

I jumped up from my spoke on the floor, throwing all of the blankets aside and running over to him. "Kouga, don't start anything. Please." I begged him, my last few moments with Inuyasha were not going to be him and Kouga arguing. They could argue when they came back; safe and sound.

His eyes flew wide opened, taking ym hands in a single flash and pulling them to his surprising warm chest. Was I just cold-blooded today?

He looked deep in to eyes, I was almost mesmerized by his gorgeous brown eyes staring back at me. I blushed and looked away from him, "Kouga," I muttered, but he squeezed my hands tighter.

"Did he do this to you, oh I knew it!" His eyes scanning the room, in search for him. "I'm tellin' you, Kagome, this is the last time he does anything like this to you. I Promise!" He loved me, it was obvious, but I felt bad that I didn't feel the same way as he did. He was brave, funny, and caring and most of all he wasn't afraid to admit that he truly cared about me.

But there was something about Inuyasha, something almost special.

Whenever I am with him it is like I can overcome anything, almost like he is the answer to all my problems, the cure to every disease, the melody to my song and the beat to my heart. He was just simply perfect to me. Sure, he can be stubborn, and egotistical, and rude, and jealous, and don't even get me started on insensitive. But I know that deep down, there is a place for me in his heart, I can tell just by the way he looks at me; even by the way he says my name.

I forgot Kouga was standing there, still holding my hands. I pulled them out of his grasp and turned away from him. I heard him gasped in surprise to my attitude towards him. He peeked around me to look, "Did I say something wrong?" he almost sounded like he was scared to ask me.

I sighed."Kouga," my eyes automatically shut. I now felt bad for all of the times that Kouga accused Inuyasha of endangering me when Inuyasha, all along, was the one that always saved me. "This is not Inuyasha's fault! So stop blaming him, okay?" I didn't think I could mean to him, but I was. My words came off very angrily, almost like I was talking to Inuyasha at times.

He was thrown back by my sudden anger, "What-what are you talking about, Kagome?"

"I'm talking about how you always blame Inuyasha for something happening to me," I waited a minute, and turned around to face him. "It's not his fault! I went out in to the cold, knowing I shouldn't, looking for him because you were on your way with the others." I took a second to catch my breath, looking at the floor trying to focus on something else. "As soon as he seen me outside, he immediately said I should get inside. So don't blame him!" My eyes almost popped out of my head, all my emotions were just over-flowing.

Kougasighed, turning around and scratching his back, "So he's really gotten to you, huh?" At first I didn't know what he meant, but when I looked up and seen him look at me out of the corner of his eye with heart broken despair, I knew.

"Yes, I'm sorry." Apologies don't mean much to me, and I hate hearing them as much as I hate saying it. But I tried my hardest to make my apology to him believable, because he deserved it. If I did not love Inuyasha as much as I did, I probably would have gone for Kouga.

Kouga looked outside for a quick second, and then turned around to grab my face. I was so shocked. When he grabbed my face I thought he was going to try to kiss me, but instead he pulled my head closer to him to whisper in my ear. "You know, I knew all along it would be him. I just hoped I could change your mind," he pulled away from my ear to kiss my cheek. "He must be some guy."

I almost thought that him and Inuyasha would be friends and not enemies, now that Kouga understood where my heart belonged. "He is."

At that moment Inuyasha pulled the door open and walked in, "Kagome we-" he stopped when he seen Kouga, and his face twisted into unimaginable hate towards him. "Kouga, " he said through his teeth, his fangs scrapping against his lip.

I immediately put myself between them while facing Inuyasha, my hands laid on his face to calm his down "He just came to say goodbye to me; before you guys leave." my fingers rubbed at his face, and I could feel him calming down. His skin wasn't as tensed anymore, and his face was now back to it's normal form.

My hands trailed there way down to his waist as I pulled them around him and stood by his side. Inuyasha looked at me for a moment and then glanced at Kouga, "Is everyone ready to go?"

Kouga nodded, rocking back on his heels. "We have to pick-up the Eastern and Western wolves at the mountain, but my pack is ready to go." He winked at me and smiled, "Don't worry, Kagome. I'll make sure he's returned to you in one piece." I smiled and ran to give him a hug. He must have made a face at Inuyasha cause I heard a low growl come from him, but I ignored it as I hugged Kouga tighter one last time and let go.

I stepped back to Inuyasha. Kouga gave us a quick smile and then walked between us to go outside.

Inuyasha took my hand in his own. Glancing up at him he gave me a small smile and then it faded away, "I have something to show you." He said softly, bending over as if I could hear him better. My eyes widened at the idea of what this surprise might be. He pulled me outside.

The storm had finally stopped.

The sun was shining bright and shined off of the snow and icicles hanging on the huts around the village. I seen Kouga pack over in the distance laying in the sun and fighting with each other, while Kouga and Miroku were talking, probably about the direction of travel. Sango was checking to make sure she had everything while Shippo was helping her. Inuyasha nudged my arm, "This way." He whispered and he brought me behind Kaede's hut.

He let go of my hand and looked around the corner of the hut on one side and than ran to the other side to look, too. He jumped up onto the roof and surveyed the area, looking for anyone close. "What are you doing?" He landed on the ground and spun around to face me, smiling again. He started to walk towards me, and I stepped back, hitting the hut. My back pressed against it I tilted my head as he got closer.

"Come on, every one is going to be looking for us and you have to-" in one quick moment he closed the distance between us, took my face in his hands and crushed his lips down on to mine, stopping me from finishing my sentence. One of his hands slowly made it's way down to my waist and the other followed as he pulled our bodies closer. My right arm pulled around his neck to hold on to his hair and my left hand laid against his chest, feeling his heart pounding.

His lips were so warm as his tongue slipped in to my mouth, he pushed me against the wall let go of my mouth, staring to kiss down my neck. My mind was thinking a million different things at once, but I couldn't focus on any of them. All I could focus on was him. His hands played with the back of my shirt, trying to find a way to go under it. I jumped up and my legs wrapped around his waist, he held me to the wall still kissing my neck.

He brought our lips together again and I pulled away. I had to stop.

I got down from being pinned against the wall and looked away from him, he stood there gasping for breathe looking rather confused. He walked over to me, "Isn't this what you wanted?" his voice pulling at my heart strings, I could have cried from him asking me that.

Being with him and having him all to myself was everything I could ever wanted. But I didn't want to do anything with him, not until he came back. I wanted him to fight that much harder to stay alive to know I was still here waiting for him to come back to me, with my arms wide opened and my lips waiting to kiss him again. Maybe that would make sure he would survive everything and get through this battle, and thinking about this is lifted a small portion of worry and fear off of my chest and mind.

I laughed. "You don't know how long I have waited for you to kiss me like that," I breathed in a huge gasp of air and threw my arms around him, pulling him close. He slowly brought his arms up and around my waist, resting his head on top of my own, "But I don't wanna do this when your about to leave." I kissed his cheek and pulled away looking up at mine and his puppy dog eyes.

"Your leaving, come on."

When we came back to every one they were ready to go. Miroku gave Sango and Shippo a hug and walked over to me, he smiled as he gave me a huge hug and whispered in to my ear so low even Inuyasha could not hear him. "I'll watch over him," all I could do was nod and hug him even tighter.

Kouga was the next to say goodbye to me. He walked over his something hidden behind him in his hands, he stopped about a foot in front of me and sighed, "I made you this because I didn't know if you were going to come with us or not." He pulled it out from behind him, and it was a wolf fur jacket, it looked like his own only it was shorter and smaller. He pulled ir around me and tied the rope around my waist, "Perfect fight." He smiled and pulled me in to a hug, "Make sure your waiting for us to come back."

He left me and walked over to Miroku again and picked up his own things. Miroku had a small bag on his back too, and he was talking to some of the wolves about battle strategy, I think.

Inuyasha came over and without any other words or looks he picked me up into a hug, as I wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my head in his neck. His hands rubbed my back softly as I tried not to cry. I got down but I didn't let him go, I couldn't look him in the eye, if I did I too would quickly pack my things and go with them, so I tried my hardest not to look at him. But it was hard when he pulled out of the hug to kiss me once again, this time the kiss was different.

The kiss we shared behind the hut was all hot and passionate.

This kiss was must softer and sweet, his lips barely pressed against him and there was a lingering yearn for more. I kissed him back trying to get a response out of him but he didn't change the attitude of the kiss, instead he pulled away and then gave me a small peck. He pulled back and I closed my eyes and looked away so I wouldn't see him leave. I thought that if I didn't witness him leave he was never really gone, just maybe in hiding somewhere. I could sense him walk back over to me.

His hand moved a piece of my hair and his breathe was warm on my ear, as he whispered softly. "I love you, Kagome. Never stop waiting for me." My eyes opened to see him smile at me and walk over to Kouga and Miroku. Kouga signaled for the wolves to start out East, as they all stood up and began to run with Kouga leading them. Miroku was behind on Kilala, Sango gave her to him so he wouldn't tag behind. And Inuyasha walked at the back of them up to the top of the hill, he stopped and looked back at me.

At that moment tears flooded my vision. There was a sudden pain in my heart, maybe I should have taken it as a sign and ran after him to stop him, but I didn't. Instead, I let him wave goodbye to me and disappear past the hill, as my heart prepared for what was in store.

* * *

It had been three long months.

Every day I would go outside and wait on top of the hill and hope that today was the day that they would return and I would see him. But that never happened. Instead, the days turned in to weeks and the weeks turned in to months and soon after I started to wonder when ever I would see him again.

By now the cherry blossoms were in bloom and they floated around the air every where you went. Covering the ground with their pink petals. Pink was such a happy color, and it didn't describe my mood for those three months, so I hated the sight of seeing them all over the place. Sango some times would sit with me in hopes of seeing Miroku but we were both disappointed time and time again. So eventually, we stopped waiting.

We stopped doing anything.

But on the first day of summer, I had fallen asleep after having a feeling, strange feeling I had not had since Inuyasha was here, that he was going to come home soon. So I stayed up for two whole days and nights waiting for him on the hill, but he never showed up. And now I laid in Kaede's hut fast asleep, or so they thought.

The hut door opened and it woke me up enough to hear what was going on around me, thinking it was just Sango or Shippo I tried to get back to sleep. But there were two footsteps that followed after the door was opened, and then stopped about a foot away from me. My ears were trying their hardest to hear them clearly.

"What are you going to tell her?" I could hear the pain in Sango's voice, she almost couldn't say it. But when the second voice spoke, my heart sunk in to a dark hole. It was Miroku.

"Let her sleep, she needs it," he paused for a moment and I head him sit down behind me. "I'll tell her that the demon within him has finally been silenced, the human part of him was too nice to feel evil, the hanyou side of him wanted to be with her every second," I could hear him trying to hold back something. "And the man she loved is now gone forever."

And just like that, my heart broke. The pieces scattering through my body, almost killing me from the inside out. I closed my eyes as a single tear fell from the corner of my eye and fell to the floor. My life now had no meaning.

**AN:** I felt sad writing this chapter, but I had to.. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the story! Please feel free to read and review any other one of my stories on here, thank you for waiting :)


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